So I came back earlier than usual from work today because I wasn’t feeling too great…and then I made the mistake of looking at Facebook. It’s such a weird place. I tried leaving a few days ago, I really did…but got pulled right back in. I mostly use it to share funny things other people create, and then I leave because there is usually nothing very interesting to look at. Barring some posts, of course. (Mine, mine! Look at my posts! :D)
Facebook has become the land of narcissists and egomaniacs. My horse is bigger than yours. My selfie is cuter than yours. My status is wittier than yours….you get the drift. And I totally get that there might be underlying narcissism hidden in this post I am writing…I don’t know, I should ask my sister. She is majoring in Psychology. See what I just did? The humble brag? That’s become such a huge part of all of us now. Where is the humility? The human connection? Plain sanity?
Apart from the undeniable urge to brag, Facebook has also turned us into major peeping Toms. No matter how stringent your privacy settings are, there will be people, known and unknown, who will creep into your profile and intrude. Which classes are you taking? What airlines are you flying? What toilet paper brand are you using? Everything is fair game.
And I haven’t even started on the pugnacious pseudo-intellectuals yet. They are worse than the trolls, I tell you. You didn’t like Ayn Rand’s Fountainhead? You found Kafka’s Metamorphosis a slow read? You haven’t read Proust? You haven’t rainbow coloured your DP to support gay marriage in a country that is on the other side of the world? You don’t know the difference between Impressionism and Pointillism? You pronounced Chianti as CHee-anti? You haven’t quoted some famous author
you have never actually read? You are so stupid. I am totally judging you right now.
Of course all this could totally be in my twisted little mind… maybe grad school is making me crazy. It is known to have happened before to stronger minds. But honestly, I wish I could stay away from the pull of this addictive little creation. The free wi-fi doesn’t help. So I have decided this one thing I will try to do… I will try not to be the things I just made fun of, because Facebook has enough personality disorders without my contribution of hypocrisy. If my page looks boring; if my photos don’t have 4000 likes (they never do, promise); if I don’t post about every meal I eat, the world will be a little better. Too much information is a bad thing.
So here goes. I am going to be the Facebook saint. (*cue: drop mic and walk away feeling very full of myself for my wit….)